Helplessness

Helplessness

Ok,

So Today I saw tears without water, courage without power, power without dignity, cruelty without guilt, men with hand shackled in poorness and a ruthless king.
Yes, I read those stories in magazines and books, but i found it here, in Bangalore (Indiranagar).

Its the end of evening when I reached mobile recharge shop with my girl friend asking for a 150 bucks recharge when a south Indian came asking, "Bhen***d(sister F***ker) Shyam (security guard ,standing just besides us.) why the signals are not coming", holding a samsung tab 2, don't know its a network problem, the King in his traditional south Indian dress (orange lungi+white shirt+blue chappal), again asking the same question with far more cruel voice," Bhen***d (sister F***ker) , bol(speak)", from one of his servants and then slapped him with full speed like my Hindi teacher used to hit me, in front of everyone and a girl. My mouth is open wide and then he said "I m waiting there get it corrected as soon as possible else you know".

My girlfriend got scared even I , he was 6ft tall weighing almost 90 kg and so obviously I couldn't speak. Everywhere was a deep silence and I saw that security guard, numb, a fine actor, crying from inside not letting even a single tear out, I know what he was thinking, if it was me at his place I might have killed him may be not.

I walked two steps with courage without power, "King" was watching me, I asked him "kaha se ho (Where are you from)", he replied Muzzafarnagar.
I told him putting my hand on his shoulder, "Don't work here, if you want to live".
After which my girlfriend took me with her, I dropp her at her PG, went home thinking about the guys handcuffed with poverty and money, leaving their self respect, just to live and I don't know how he will fix his TAB.

*Its a true story

.

half happy

ek raah thi par manjil nahi thi...

parents and care

ek raasta tha par thikaana nahi tha..

gharo mei  jalte diye dekhe

to yaad aayi maa ki

roshan hota tha unka ghar

mere aane se shaam ko

ek din aaya aisa

safar par chal dia mei

"musafir" nikal gaya sadak pe

leke kashti lehro par

ufanti lehro se takrakar

pahucha jab manjil ki aur

to kinara door ho gya

mei ghar se manjil se

aur halaat se majboor ho gya

dekha idhar udhar

to puri dunia thi kashmakash mei

bhai, behen, pyar aur dost ke hatho mei

bandhi thi dore nayi si unke beech mei

mei bhi unhi se jud gya...

adha khush ho gya

ma, pitaji

mei bahut bada ban gya

par adha khush reh gya....

apke bina...!!!

apka sath tha

par paas na tha

apka ehsas tha

par sath na tha

baaton ka kya fayda tha

jab aap ka sahara na tha

rupey bahut they jeb mei

par khali jeb ka bahana na tha

ma, pitaji

bas yaadon ka asra tha

mera apke paas hi thikana tha

bas chaldiya mei pata nahi kyun

khushiyo ka sansar to aapse hi tha

ashko ka kya fayda

ab mei bada ban gya

par adha khush reh gya.....

apke bina...!!!

God, flexibility and you

Me and God...
the decision between Good me and Evil me
this is GOOD ME

I'm a Hindu, but don't know much about my mythology but still remember many events that my age mates don't remember. I remember most of the Ramayana (thanks to Ramanand Sagar),and I also remember most of the Mahabharata (Thanks to B.R. Chopra). I know, this piece I'm writing will be crap for some one, but have you imagine a life without GOD, Just Imagine for 2 min. and think what we will miss.

• No one will say why me God!!
• There will be no one whom you can always blame
• There will be no one whom you can ask anything anytime
• There will be no source of spiritual awareness
• There will be no thanking of GOD if you achieve something great
• There will be no temples, no church, no Mosque, no Gurudwara.

Then what, what we will say, why me Gandhiji or why me Hitler... just joking but as far as I feel, without GOD life is nothing, a kind of power will be lost forever that everyone feels inside them at some point of time in life.

I'm not saying that GOD is supreme and you should bow in front of HIM, even the God doesn't want it.
He is our friend, one who listen to our problems patiently any time, who is with us like air, who smiles with us cry with us, he is inside our Heart, living peacefully, who visits us at many points of time.

Now how come he can visit us, He is not here, He is in heaven, He has no face, he sends messengers, how come you are hurting my religious sentiments, 

This blog should be banned and he(I) must be jailed....???????????

The common mentality of every religion, the common man problem, they are so into in their sentiments to show their religious superiority that they forgot GOD never wants hatred, all he know is LOVE, Peace and Happiness.

Helping others will always make GOD happy any way any how, help others.

NOW the question is how come he visits us.......

• As your best friend who listen to your problem and mostly fixed it
• As you parents/caretakers who tries to fix your problems and need
• A friend who is happy with your happiness and sad with your sadness
• Same with the lover who loves you
• Same with those who blesses you with good health and wealth
• The one who you like to talk
• The one whom you'll share your problems

Still we need GOD, you know why, he made us like this, we are ambitious/over insecure who need God every time, we can never be satisfied, I know this is harsh, but this is the bitter truth and we became over protective about our religious sentiments, we have become insecure and we become rigid, even the God says that change can never be avoided but still we used to follow 10,000 years old ethics and loose our flexibility. It should be changed, this view should change and our lifestyle should change.

Nothing else to say, follow GOD be little flexible...

and Love for me is the thing that inspires me, motivates me and help me to what I m ...

which is GOD for me............and that is music.

Nagavara Lake and Sun Rays | Nature at its best

Nagavara Lake and Sun Rays | Nature at its best

Sunset

Lake 

Lake, nature and sunset

Lake and SunRays

Rays of Hope 

via: Avipsa

dreams make me sleepless

 Dreams make me sleepless

Dreams

Dreams in sleep, dreams make me sleepless
Dream with no place has a place in my head
no way to get a way to have them
dreams in sleep dreams make me sleepless

I m fallen from the sky
wish I fly so high
just a step away I m kicked from my way
and fall on the ground with full bounce I try to revert back
but not enough to touch the sky




Promises I made, Promises I broke
there is crack in the glass of hope
going to break and the water is going to flow
collection of dreams again and building again the hope
so tough but its
Promises I made, Promises I broke
consequences I have to hold


give me some power to revert back
fallen from the sky
with broken promises
I want to touch the sky
 Dreams in sleep, dreams make me sleepless
I want to touch the sky again, I m restless

about.me

A page on about.me...

check with the following link

http://about.me/harshit.rastogi

Redefining part 2

Link to Redefining part1

Redefining part 2

hey, why you are crying, I asked Simi

You idiot, don't know how to walk on road banged your head to the truck, you moron, She said

Ohh, c'mon just saw you and it's not my fault, it's all mirror reflection there and you are so beautiful, I was unable to concentrate and ended up in Hospital, I replied.

you will never change, she said it and smile a little. I was waiting for that smile for so many years, If I go back to my memories I m incomplete without her, I and her were the master of mischief in colony, we used to steal    cookies together, play together and fight after every 10 min. from the age of 10 to 18 I was with her, then the college changes then the life and the priorities, and she was my girlfriend also during my schooling and through most of the college time but we broke up, I don't know why (my biggest mistake of life), I got another girl, she was alone, she never had a boy in his life after me but now I came to know she is getting married and I m  in dilemma what to do what no to. I remembered everything, even the smell of the skin and one day she is in front of me and crying for me.

Hey wake up dude, I heard a sweet voice of simi, she said:' see who has come to see you', It was her fiance and simi parents, I know simi parents and I was happy to see them but seeing her fiance I don't know what happen to me, I want to cry but can't, I want to go back in time and change everything but I can't coz I m not a superman.

Day by day her care makes me feel comfortable and in the evening when he came I feel jealousy, want to kill him but leave him and one fine day when I was comfortable and fit enough to go home, I woke up at 5am asked the nurse and management to prepare the bill and went home silently leaving a note behind.

Simi,

may be I m not such a great guy. may be I m not perfect but yes I m sorry for what I did to you, we can never be friends as I said in my college that we can be friends but now I know I seriously love you,and love can never be converted back to friendship I came to know,  I never respected you the way I should but now its to late to repent, wish you happy married life and have kids and don't name them the way we decided and I still have your poetry you wrote for me once.

All the best for life. Call me for any need, will always relish those childhood days.

have fun

enjoy

I love travelling, alone.

Yours 

abhishek

So, its me now only, changed the job to a travelling job to enjoy the world with my memories.

Song of The Week | Don't take the girl | Tim McGraw

Don't take the girl:

Listen: Don't Take the girl

Johnny's daddy was taking him fishin'
He was eight years old.
Little girl came through the front gate
Holdin' a fishin' pole.
His dad looked down and smiled,
Said, "We can't leave her behind"
"Son, I know you don't want her to go,
But someday you'll change your mind."
And Johnny said,
"Take Jimmy Johnson,
Take Tommy Tompson.
Take my best friend, Bo.
Take anybody that you want as
Long as she don't go.
Take any boy in the world,
Daddy please, don't take the girl."

Same old boy, same sweet girl
Ten years down the road.
He held her tight and kissed her lips in
Front of the picture show.
Stranger came and pulled a gun
Grabbed her by the arm said "If you do what I tell you to,
There won't be any harm" 
And Johnny said "Take my money,
Take my wallet,
Take my credit cards.
Here's the watch that my grandpa gave me
Here's the key to my car
Mister give it a whirl,
But please don't take the girl."

Same old boy
Same sweet girl
Five years down the road
There's gonna be a little one and she
Says it's time to go.
Doctor says the baby's fine
But you'll have to leave
'Cause his momma's fading fast and 
Johnny hit his knees and there he prayed
"Take the very breath you gave me.
Take the heart from my chest.
I'll gladly take her place if you'll let me,
Make this my last request.
Take me out of this world
God, please don't take the girl"

Johnny's daddy
Was taking him fishin'
When he was eight years old

missing you

I m in love with you

I know what it take's to be with you

I know I have to go against the world

but what should I do

I m in love with you

the way you smile

your expression reminds me of cute small child

the way you talk

the way you make my problem solve

I know i hassle a lot

but i love to do it

and I love to see you smile

I know I m reactive

but you are the one who understand it

today when you are not with me

I m missing you like my life

I don't how can I live without you

for me you are my only lifeline

I love the way you smile....

I m missing you my life....

Redefining part1

Redefining: part1

I m all alone, helpless nothing to do, i don't know where my life is going, I have no friends to talk about personal life, I m all by myself, sadness and despair all the worst words about a person condition suits me.

you know why I m so low, why I don't want anyone because I loved someone and left her because of society, I again love someone, she left me because of society now when I started to feel good I got an invitation from my first love of her marriage which was actually my love.

But what to do, what not to,  I m cursing myself, all the good and bad memories come alive.

Few Days later

I was in Hospital I don't know how, I can barely remember anything but one thing for sure I saw her on the road that day i.e. my ex-love, came to know by a sister working there, It was a Sunday morning, when I met her. The rain was dazzling and pouring from the sky like nectar from heaven, the day was beautiful with a sunshine playing hide seek with cloud moderate temperature, I was walking in the sideline of the city to purchase a bottle of milk when a reflection from mirror hit me hard, I noticed and got amazed to see her, it was her if I was not wrong. Like an old wine, I was refreshed with my thoughts, the school, the love, the hatred, the friendship and a special bond that is not going to break and I can bet about it. She is there and I m right in front of her waiting for her to turn around when a car hit me. My bad.

I got a knock on my hospital room and She was standing in front of me.

*to be continued.......

link to Redefining part 2

Something

Something is left behind
with no purpose
something is not with me
with no reason
the melancholy state
is here, more than usual.
alone...!!!
I don't know why
but
Something is left behind.......................


the days which were solitaire
gone like a season's another affair
peace of mind, I can found no-where
now-here,  I can sense despair...
Heart is like a stone
and there is nothing to mourn.

Something is left behind

with no purpose
something is not with me
with no reason


life is race and
it keeps on dragging me
I don't want to run

Away from this crowd
I want to live
I want peace
I want love....

A storm is coming

GO hide in your house
A storm is coming

Pack up your things
A storm is coming

pick up the bag run to the end
no where to go you are on your own

the psychotic mind
an evil kingdom
The ruthless king
hope is lost
nothing to win

the freedom hides somewhere
we need someone
who can fight for us
build hope within us

we all are dead
with soul less body
aspiration without aim
100 feet road, 2nd main

I saw his shadow yesterday
when I saw a man fighting for
his friend's gift of birthday
I saw a guy fighting for a girl respect
he beat the street goons
and almost kill the bastard

I also saw a child want to study
I also saw a man giving back his promise
I can feel his shadow
which is rising

Shadow of hope, I can see
I can see him coming
to fill us with the hope
the sun is rising
ice is melting
there is a fear I can sense in ministry
the palpable view of nature mystery
I can sense the storm of Goodness is coming
wiping all the sorrows and misfortune, misleading ways and corrupted people

Rise, rise, rise....
I can sense
A storm is coming.................

conflict

"conflict"

मिटटी को  जितना पकड़ो उतना फिसलती है
हाथो की लकीरे हर वक़्त बदलती है
खुशनुमा सा होता है वक़्त जब भी
उसी  मोड़ पर जिंदगी रुख बदलती है....

राह में चलना है सबको ,भीड़ बहुत है 
मेरी नज़र  ढूँढती  जिसे हर पल है
कभी इधर कभी उधर
हर चेहरे में तलाशती उसको नजर  है

"मुसाफिर" की तरह चल तो दिए है 
ठिकाने की किसे खबर है
ख़ुशी हो जिसमे सबकी
उसी मंजिल की तलब है

पानी है बेरंग अब हम
इसमें मिल जाते हज़ार रंग है
किसी भी रंग में नेह्लादो हमें
हम शक्कर  की तरह मौज मस्त है

इन सभी हसी के पीछे छिपा 
एक इंसान का मन है
उलझा हुआ इतना
की समझ नहीं आता
क्या सही क्या गलत है

सही गलत के बीच लिए गए कुछ फैसले है
जिनसे बनी मेरी किस्मत है
किसका दोष है कौन बेक़सूर
सब ऊपर वाले का असर है

दिलो में कैद हज़ार ख्वाहिशे बंद है
कुछ उमीदे इन हसी में भी है
गम भी है... ख़ुशी भी।.....
क्युंकी 

मिटटी को  जितना पकड़ो उतना फिसलती है
हाथो की लकीरे हर वक़्त बदलती है
खुशनुमा सा होता है वक़्त जब भी
उसी  मोड़ पर जिंदगी रुख बदलती है....

am i right to feel alone

I have no one i could call

i picked up my phone and there was no miss call

I think like this every time

am i so alone...

I make you smile

I make you laugh

I make your saddest moment 

alive in a second

and now here i m

sitting in my empty room

empty mind

don't have words to write

I think like this every time

Does this make me so ALONE....

you never walk with me

you never talk to me

no text no personal meeting

i was in expectation 

and all i got is orders.

order i just follow to be with you

i feel good when you all are near me

i listen to you all

i smile inside

i laugh like a child

when you all are done

you leave me in a while

fractions of second and all are gone

gone like wind as their meaning to be good is over

work done

task done

keep smiling like this forever

so why don't i feel this way

why don't i cry 

why i share with you everything

why is the word that makes me shy

i m not a man of stone

i m not just a joker for you all

today I have no one for me 

no one at all

all i have is fake world

with big smile and small heart

you break it many times

but all i do is to fix it hard

but its like a broken candy

its like mirror with thousand reflections

every reflections has its story

story of my life

sometimes happy

sometimes far behind

Today

even after so many sacrifice

I have no one who will be happy to meet me

i have no one who say to me a mere goodbye,.............

FIGHT

my first post of may...
and the name is FIGHT....

Walk, walk alone
travel the path you once know
Walk, walk alone
have faith. Watch, step up and go....

The days are shining
the nights are smiling
the stars are sparkling
the clouds are whispering
whispering the thunder
thunderbolt we call it
it will fall when the
Zeus feel it right
at right time and place
when the problem are really high
to make the man more alone
alone on his nights
alone on his days
don't know what is right
he is searching, dreaming
laughing at his fight
fighting for the rights
sit tight
coz climax is unknown
& one day, if he is right
he will rise
rise above all

At times he will loose faith
he will be doomed
but after every night sun rise
he will be the King of ALMIGHTY
Coz,
he stands against all odds
he fought for his rights
he proved everyone wrong
he believed himself
and
he make everyone smile
Even when he is alone at his most bad times
He won, coz he walk alone
he walk alone to win against time
when everyone leave him
he took a stand for himself and fight and fight and fight.......................................................

ashk

ashk


iski uski har kisi ki najar ka asar hai
meri jindagi par har kisi ka asar hai
baatein hai kai saari
umeedo ka farak hai
kisi ki baat dil choo jaati hai - 2
kisi ka gaali dena bhi beasar hai

patthar ke dil hai
ashko ki na jane kya talab hai
mehfil ki gujarish ajeeb hai
duaayon mei bhi woh kaha asar hai
beekhra samaan hai
dil ke taraana bhi ajab hai
kashmkash mei khoye alfaaz hai
labo ko muskurana gajab hai

falak par chand hai poora aaj
uska akelapan bhi hai uske sath
patthar hai kayi bade chote
yahan rona galat hai
kehte hai hasna sabko manjoor hai
yahan dard nahi hai
yahan sab mast hai
yahan kisi ko shikan nahi
yahan sab khush hai

par rota asman bhi hai
par woh mohabbat hai jameen ke hisse ki
koi barish kehta hai koi paani
behte hai jharne bhi chattano se
dhoka kha jaate hai log use uski khoobsurti samjh ke
hasne waale ki har hasi ke peeche hai lakho gam
koi unhe samjhkar dekhe khul jayegi sare bhram

kaun kehta hai hame dard nahi hota
choto ka koi asar nahi hota
bas woh baat alag hai ki dikhate nahi
dard juban se byan kar paate nahi
atak jaata hai saara falak kaid hokar mere seene mei
ashk ke sath beh jaate hai dard kisi jameen ke kone mein
reh jaati bas thandi aahein
"musafir" ki kaha hai manjil kaha hai nigahe
dhunde jise, raastein bhi  hai unchahe
paigam hai unsuna
koi samjhe to baat hai
mera dard
koi samjhe to baat hai
behti nadiyo ke sath
beh jayengi umeede bhi
meri umeede koi samjhe to baat hai........

Uncertainty

Uncertainty

So Simple yet so tricky
so eluding yet so easy
this life is like a puzzle
so light yet so heavy

making the distance come short
loving the way you talk
making happiness everywhere
your frown is what I fear

I m confused like hell
no coin in the well
to pray, to cherish my way
standing between decisions
I m the one who is super idiot

blames and counter questions
I think my silence is the best answer
may be i m wrong 
may be my acts were wrong
now heading toward backwards 
today i m in the past
today i m lost
today is what left with me
today i m not with me

future is uncertain
life  is mysterious
I m playing a biggest gamble
my happiness relies on it
and so of others
let God help me out of it
let this be my destiny
I m sure that I will get what I want
but what HE has planned
no one knows his power

let me be myself
and one day
I will get what I had planned...........
future is uncertain
life is mysterious........

Kya kahe

क्या कहे 

क्या कहूँ, अलफ़ाज़ नहीं है कहने को कुछ

आदत हो गयी है ऐसे जीने की, मजबूर हो गए हैं कुछ

गलती से गलती हो गयी थोड़ी सी, दिल  हम भी रखते है

चुबन होती है इसमें कुछ 

तेरा प्यार भी जानते हैं और तेरे वादों को भी

गलत तुम भी नहीं हो, सही में भी नहीं 

पर कुछ है जो है मेरे दिल में अजीब सा

जो मुझे भी नहीं मालूम किसी को नहीं पता

आज

शिकवे मुझको भी है तुमको  भी

बस और क्या कहे

मोहब्बत मुझको भी है तुमको भी....

meri yaadien

For you all guys...

two friends gossiping

Jindagi meri ek khwab hai
is khwab mei bhi sapne haazar hai
ankhein hai band, sawaal behisaab hai
kahi to hai manjil, raastein anjaan hai

anjaana safar hai, raastein anjaan hai
chutein peeche lakho mukaam hai
meeti ke ghar hai, mitne ko tyar hai
kahi nai hai thikana, reinbasere kamaal hai

mehmaan hai sabke dil mei
dil mei ek ehsaas hai
chubhan hai halki si saanso mei
masti karni ki bhi chah hai
rab di marzi hai
rab ka hi hath hai
chal pade hai sab apne raaho par
bas yaadon ka hi sath hai

likha hai thoda mushkil meine
ise samjhna bhi kamal hai
ek madad kadeta hun
isme chipi mei aur meri yaadon ka sansaar hai
kuch manjile hai, kuch chootne wala sath hai
mere yaaro meri mohabbat ho tum
teri yaad meri sharaab hai

kuch hasi hai
kuch ansu hai aaj is falak par bhi
kya khoya kya paaya meine aaj hai
lagta hai baras rahe hai badal
to ashk beh rhe hai kisi ke meri yaad mei
tera pyar hi hai, jo aaj bhi mere sath hai
tere sath ki masti, tere sath ke ansu, tere sath kiye waade sab yaad hai

meeti ke ghar hai, mitne ko tyar hai
kahi nai hai thikana, rainbasere kamaal hai


dua hai yahi tere bhi badiya haalchaal hai
milna kabhi kahin kisi roz
karni baatei hazar hai....

meeti ke ghar hai, mitne ko tyar hai
kahi nai hai thikana, rainbasere kamaal hai

I was born idiot

I was born idiot...
improved with every situation...
learning with every experience...
still i m not the perfect
22 yrs in the making
they all thinks i m raving
but i m learning
gaining
maturing
and smiling

A man is born
A man die
he wishes for it
even when he don't try
I don't need favors
"I seriously don't lie
I walk alone
even if everyone take a side line"

I have my goals
I have my family
who stood by me every time
bucking me up once in a while
it gives me pleasure
even I know its not enough

people change in a fraction of time
what remains with me is my instinct my decision my life

friendship not always flourish
at times your better half is also not understanding
but its the time when you stand up and take a stand
because you know in the future
this action will surely help
to make your families tomorrow bright
you have to take a decision and decide what is right
this will make everyone to hate you
but striding your ways to success
and everyone will love you in the end

"I seriously don't lie
I walk alone
even if everyone take a side line"




I was born idiot...
improved with every situation...
learning with every experience...
still i m not the perfect
22 yrs in the making...