duniya bekar hai

kya sach hai kya jhoot
kaun paas hai kaun door hai
ek raah anjaani hai
mastani jawaani hai
reham hai har kisi ka
kisi ki be-parwahi hai
mohabbat ke naam par bas
humne chot hi khaayi hai
akele chal diye hai usi anjaani raah par
manjil abhi tak na humne paayi hai

kya kahei ae duniya waalo
waqt ki taraazoo par humne
jab bhi rishtey naape hai
us par khud pasandi ki boo humne paayi hai
zehar si ho rhi jindagi ko
ab alvida keh dia hai
un namurad rishtey ko
ab alvida keh dia hai

chal pade hai
hum bad chale hai
na kisi ki khabar liye
hum nikal pade hai
usi anjaani raah par
mast jawaani ka anand lekar
hum duniya ki fikr chod kar
jindagi jeene
apni manjil ki aur
chal pade hai....

Mei bhi jeelunga

माना की हम अधूरे है
तेरे बिना हम कैसे पूरे है
यह मंजिले भी अजीब है
हर दिन बदलती है

पर अब मे थक गया हूँ
अपनी उमीदो से मे हार गया हूँ
मेी गिर गया हूँ
अब संभालना नही आ रा है मेरे को

खुदा से बस एक ही दुआ है
मेरी जान ले ले
क्यूंकी दिखता मुझे अब सिर्फ़ धुआँ है..
धुआ ऐसा जो छ्ट नही रा है
मेरे मान पर छा चुका है
बस अब और रहा जाता नहीं
तेरे बिना जिया जाता नहीं
जा चुका है तू मुझसे मीलो दूर

अब कैसे आएगा तू पास मेरे
क्या कसमे
क्या वादे
सब झुटे हो रहे है
तुम अलग हो रहे हो
हम अलग हो रहे ह
चले जाओ हमसे दूर
मेरे आँसू कहीं तुमको रोक ना ले
मेरा दिल कहीं फिर तुमको रुकने पर मजबूर ना करदे
मेरे बिना ही तेरी खुशी है
मेरे बिना ही तेरी खुशी है
दर्द दिए है बहुत
मेरी भी उम्मीदे अलग थी
पर अब क्या फाय्दा
क्या फाय्दा तेरे आने का भी वापस
ना वो प्यार ह
ना मेरी इज़्ज़त है तेरी नज़रो मे
अब तो बस तन्हा इस राह पर
अकेले खड़े है
चली जा दूर
रहे तू खुश
दुआ है मेरी
तुझे मिले जिंदगी भरपूर
मेरे क्या है
मे तो जीलूनगा
तेरी खुशी क खातिर मेी भी जीलूनगा...

मिटटी के घर है मिटने को तैयार है

दर्द होता है जताते नहीं है 

हम किसी को कुछ बताते नहीं है 

झुक जाता है सर सबके सामने 

हम खुद से नजरे अब मिला पाते नहीं है.  

अकेले हो गए है 

सब को खुश करने में मगन हो गए है 

अपना कुछ बचा नहीं 

दिल में जज्बा रहा नहीं 

कहाँ जाए 

किधर मूह छिपाए 

अब मिलने ka किसी से मन करता नहीं 

प्यार करना हमें अच्छा लगता नहीं 

समझे हमारी दिक्कत भी कोई 

समझे हमारे अनसु भी कोई 

हसी में छिपी हजारो ख्वाहिशे है 

tute पत्ते की तरह हमारे चाहते है 

गुस्से में लिख रहे है यह शायरी 

अश्क बह रहे है साथ में 

मंजिल कहीं खो गयी है 

हम रो रहे है यहाँ पे  

किसी ने कुछ समझना नहीं है 

हम हार गए  है  जहाँ  से 

शीशे के दिल है 

टूटने को तयार  है 

मिटटी के घर है मिटने को तैयार है 

कहीं नहीं है ठिकाना रैनबसेरे कमाल है ................................

When I meet her and her helplessness.

 When I meet her and her helplessness.

I don't know, may be she is very old, may be near to 30 but within fraction of seconds I saw the loneliness in her eyes, the vague activities of her and the unexpected concern about an unknown, cannot make me forget her. May be I m too foolish to think to much of merely 10 seconds meet but it is changing my ideas, my views and my ideology of  taking and thinking about things that are neither social nor culturally good but it exist in our system from the days of Mahabharata, yes may be what you are thinking is right, I m talking about those dark and grey areas of society  which is known by everyone but nobody talks about it, nobody cares for them, we think of them as use and throw disposable pens. But I myself who respects girls a lot may or may not respect them before that incident, I m talking about those girls who makes man (who are not) happy in exchange of money.

It was March starting and I was marching towards my home on my scooter from palace road to near Leela palace, Kodihalli when my mobile rang near to Chinnaswamy stadium back and then again near to Shivaji nagar and again at manipal center so finally I stopped my scooter by crossing the manipal center turning left, just before the metro stop and pick it up, and it was my friend asking about how to deactivate fb profile, stupid but there during my call some one say, "want to go", I didn't looked at her, and just said no, and when she walked past me, I saw her and I came to know what she meant by that, I don't know what to do so I cut my phone and start laughing, I was laughing that why she asked me , I m just 22 and I don't want these shits, may be she can't see my face, that I m a young guy for these things but in the end I was laughing and then she looked backed at me smiling saying just go, leave, I said OK I m leaving and I was smiling, she said "go, some one will come then." And then I realized who is someone aka police or pimp, so I left from there. I saw something there, I saw something in her eyes , she was wearing saree, good ethical wears, and by face cut she is looking good, good English accent may be she is working in some call center may be not, but looks educated to me. But I saw something in her eyes, something that every girl has, dreams, waiting for a prince, care, maturity, affection and a lot of loneliness. I go a little forward looked back she was talking to some girl, and I zoom away on my scooter, I never saw her since then, but at the end of the day .

I realized that they are also girls who need care and true love and above and foremost RESPECT.
But they don't have it and they may or may not earn it. But they are the only one who can fight for it and person like us will always support them in their upbringing.

Helplessness

Helplessness

Ok,

So Today I saw tears without water, courage without power, power without dignity, cruelty without guilt, men with hand shackled in poorness and a ruthless king.
Yes, I read those stories in magazines and books, but i found it here, in Bangalore (Indiranagar).

Its the end of evening when I reached mobile recharge shop with my girl friend asking for a 150 bucks recharge when a south Indian came asking, "Bhen***d(sister F***ker) Shyam (security guard ,standing just besides us.) why the signals are not coming", holding a samsung tab 2, don't know its a network problem, the King in his traditional south Indian dress (orange lungi+white shirt+blue chappal), again asking the same question with far more cruel voice," Bhen***d (sister F***ker) , bol(speak)", from one of his servants and then slapped him with full speed like my Hindi teacher used to hit me, in front of everyone and a girl. My mouth is open wide and then he said "I m waiting there get it corrected as soon as possible else you know".

My girlfriend got scared even I , he was 6ft tall weighing almost 90 kg and so obviously I couldn't speak. Everywhere was a deep silence and I saw that security guard, numb, a fine actor, crying from inside not letting even a single tear out, I know what he was thinking, if it was me at his place I might have killed him may be not.

I walked two steps with courage without power, "King" was watching me, I asked him "kaha se ho (Where are you from)", he replied Muzzafarnagar.
I told him putting my hand on his shoulder, "Don't work here, if you want to live".
After which my girlfriend took me with her, I dropp her at her PG, went home thinking about the guys handcuffed with poverty and money, leaving their self respect, just to live and I don't know how he will fix his TAB.

*Its a true story

.

half happy

ek raah thi par manjil nahi thi...

parents and care

ek raasta tha par thikaana nahi tha..

gharo mei  jalte diye dekhe

to yaad aayi maa ki

roshan hota tha unka ghar

mere aane se shaam ko

ek din aaya aisa

safar par chal dia mei

"musafir" nikal gaya sadak pe

leke kashti lehro par

ufanti lehro se takrakar

pahucha jab manjil ki aur

to kinara door ho gya

mei ghar se manjil se

aur halaat se majboor ho gya

dekha idhar udhar

to puri dunia thi kashmakash mei

bhai, behen, pyar aur dost ke hatho mei

bandhi thi dore nayi si unke beech mei

mei bhi unhi se jud gya...

adha khush ho gya

ma, pitaji

mei bahut bada ban gya

par adha khush reh gya....

apke bina...!!!

apka sath tha

par paas na tha

apka ehsas tha

par sath na tha

baaton ka kya fayda tha

jab aap ka sahara na tha

rupey bahut they jeb mei

par khali jeb ka bahana na tha

ma, pitaji

bas yaadon ka asra tha

mera apke paas hi thikana tha

bas chaldiya mei pata nahi kyun

khushiyo ka sansar to aapse hi tha

ashko ka kya fayda

ab mei bada ban gya

par adha khush reh gya.....

apke bina...!!!

dreams make me sleepless

 Dreams make me sleepless

Dreams

Dreams in sleep, dreams make me sleepless
Dream with no place has a place in my head
no way to get a way to have them
dreams in sleep dreams make me sleepless

I m fallen from the sky
wish I fly so high
just a step away I m kicked from my way
and fall on the ground with full bounce I try to revert back
but not enough to touch the sky




Promises I made, Promises I broke
there is crack in the glass of hope
going to break and the water is going to flow
collection of dreams again and building again the hope
so tough but its
Promises I made, Promises I broke
consequences I have to hold


give me some power to revert back
fallen from the sky
with broken promises
I want to touch the sky
 Dreams in sleep, dreams make me sleepless
I want to touch the sky again, I m restless

Redefining part 2

Link to Redefining part1

Redefining part 2

hey, why you are crying, I asked Simi

You idiot, don't know how to walk on road banged your head to the truck, you moron, She said

Ohh, c'mon just saw you and it's not my fault, it's all mirror reflection there and you are so beautiful, I was unable to concentrate and ended up in Hospital, I replied.

you will never change, she said it and smile a little. I was waiting for that smile for so many years, If I go back to my memories I m incomplete without her, I and her were the master of mischief in colony, we used to steal    cookies together, play together and fight after every 10 min. from the age of 10 to 18 I was with her, then the college changes then the life and the priorities, and she was my girlfriend also during my schooling and through most of the college time but we broke up, I don't know why (my biggest mistake of life), I got another girl, she was alone, she never had a boy in his life after me but now I came to know she is getting married and I m  in dilemma what to do what no to. I remembered everything, even the smell of the skin and one day she is in front of me and crying for me.

Hey wake up dude, I heard a sweet voice of simi, she said:' see who has come to see you', It was her fiance and simi parents, I know simi parents and I was happy to see them but seeing her fiance I don't know what happen to me, I want to cry but can't, I want to go back in time and change everything but I can't coz I m not a superman.

Day by day her care makes me feel comfortable and in the evening when he came I feel jealousy, want to kill him but leave him and one fine day when I was comfortable and fit enough to go home, I woke up at 5am asked the nurse and management to prepare the bill and went home silently leaving a note behind.

Simi,

may be I m not such a great guy. may be I m not perfect but yes I m sorry for what I did to you, we can never be friends as I said in my college that we can be friends but now I know I seriously love you,and love can never be converted back to friendship I came to know,  I never respected you the way I should but now its to late to repent, wish you happy married life and have kids and don't name them the way we decided and I still have your poetry you wrote for me once.

All the best for life. Call me for any need, will always relish those childhood days.

have fun

enjoy

I love travelling, alone.

Yours 

abhishek

So, its me now only, changed the job to a travelling job to enjoy the world with my memories.

missing you

I m in love with you

I know what it take's to be with you

I know I have to go against the world

but what should I do

I m in love with you

the way you smile

your expression reminds me of cute small child

the way you talk

the way you make my problem solve

I know i hassle a lot

but i love to do it

and I love to see you smile

I know I m reactive

but you are the one who understand it

today when you are not with me

I m missing you like my life

I don't how can I live without you

for me you are my only lifeline

I love the way you smile....

I m missing you my life....

am i right to feel alone

I have no one i could call

i picked up my phone and there was no miss call

I think like this every time

am i so alone...

I make you smile

I make you laugh

I make your saddest moment 

alive in a second

and now here i m

sitting in my empty room

empty mind

don't have words to write

I think like this every time

Does this make me so ALONE....

you never walk with me

you never talk to me

no text no personal meeting

i was in expectation 

and all i got is orders.

order i just follow to be with you

i feel good when you all are near me

i listen to you all

i smile inside

i laugh like a child

when you all are done

you leave me in a while

fractions of second and all are gone

gone like wind as their meaning to be good is over

work done

task done

keep smiling like this forever

so why don't i feel this way

why don't i cry 

why i share with you everything

why is the word that makes me shy

i m not a man of stone

i m not just a joker for you all

today I have no one for me 

no one at all

all i have is fake world

with big smile and small heart

you break it many times

but all i do is to fix it hard

but its like a broken candy

its like mirror with thousand reflections

every reflections has its story

story of my life

sometimes happy

sometimes far behind

Today

even after so many sacrifice

I have no one who will be happy to meet me

i have no one who say to me a mere goodbye,.............

ashk

ashk


iski uski har kisi ki najar ka asar hai
meri jindagi par har kisi ka asar hai
baatein hai kai saari
umeedo ka farak hai
kisi ki baat dil choo jaati hai - 2
kisi ka gaali dena bhi beasar hai

patthar ke dil hai
ashko ki na jane kya talab hai
mehfil ki gujarish ajeeb hai
duaayon mei bhi woh kaha asar hai
beekhra samaan hai
dil ke taraana bhi ajab hai
kashmkash mei khoye alfaaz hai
labo ko muskurana gajab hai

falak par chand hai poora aaj
uska akelapan bhi hai uske sath
patthar hai kayi bade chote
yahan rona galat hai
kehte hai hasna sabko manjoor hai
yahan dard nahi hai
yahan sab mast hai
yahan kisi ko shikan nahi
yahan sab khush hai

par rota asman bhi hai
par woh mohabbat hai jameen ke hisse ki
koi barish kehta hai koi paani
behte hai jharne bhi chattano se
dhoka kha jaate hai log use uski khoobsurti samjh ke
hasne waale ki har hasi ke peeche hai lakho gam
koi unhe samjhkar dekhe khul jayegi sare bhram

kaun kehta hai hame dard nahi hota
choto ka koi asar nahi hota
bas woh baat alag hai ki dikhate nahi
dard juban se byan kar paate nahi
atak jaata hai saara falak kaid hokar mere seene mei
ashk ke sath beh jaate hai dard kisi jameen ke kone mein
reh jaati bas thandi aahein
"musafir" ki kaha hai manjil kaha hai nigahe
dhunde jise, raastein bhi  hai unchahe
paigam hai unsuna
koi samjhe to baat hai
mera dard
koi samjhe to baat hai
behti nadiyo ke sath
beh jayengi umeede bhi
meri umeede koi samjhe to baat hai........

the day you are missing me

the day you are missing me

I got this feeling every time
someday, I'll not be there to make you smile
the day when you will need me
but i m so far away that you can't see me
than what will you do
to make yourself smile........?

A smile on your lips and a tear in your eyes.....

I was not a kind of guy
that let his feeling show
I thought that being alone
is the worst way to go
but its all enough
let me be alone
let me be by myself
all by me.........
in the most unknowable region
that no one could go

Now
today is "the day you are missing me"....

you are the one who thinks I m the fool
you all thinks I m the one that is for granted one
but its not all over
may be I smile a lot but it doesn't mean
I don't have a heart who care...
that day come
and they realizes, how irresponsible I was
one mistake and you forget it all...
and in the end it all went wrong
you leave me all alone........

time passes bye,  time goes on
you catch up an old album, an old video
saw me and laugh a lot
ask your old pal
where I was gone
and that is "the day you are missing me" a lot....

See
I had a problem that no one knows
In my last days I m all alone
I have no friends no one to talk
lying on my bed
still smiling with the memories
I don't want to share
one day I ll be gone
you will get a postcard regarding my end
but you will be unaware of the fact
where I went
where I rest with my batch mates memories
that I ll cherish even after my death...
and you won't get a hint
and even a stone can't tell
where I m lying...

Forever alone

"Forever alone"

It was a cold morning
three hours later a sunny noon...
I waited for her till the evening
I got her message yesterday morning

she said she will wait for me
but it all seems to be lie
I thought she will be there
waiting for me at the shore
i cant see anyone
I waited till dawn

The day ended with a tear
I can see in awe the great nature
the palpable view of the beauty
but it was not a good offer
for me its like another day
like a daily affair

her beauty is divine
she is like an angel
fallen from sky
her eyes are like pearl
her caring nature impressed me a lot
 like a father motivating in the church.

The day passed ON
and she doesn't realize how much i loved her
she thought I m just her good friend
may be I was not strong enough
but I know she knew what I feel about her

The day came when she met him
He was a nice guy
and I left her
sad and hopeless
I was all by myself
she left me like a wind in the air
I m left with the memories unshared

she is living her life
and I got my share of happiness
now she is gone
and i m still alone

I got a message on my phone yesterday afternoon
wait for me on that sea shore
where we met and play
The memories came up to my mind
I was smiling with a tear in my eyes
but she didn't came that day
and I was again left all alone..........................

still waiting all alone...

Pain- A metaphor

" Pain- A metaphor "

something is crawling on my mind

why my heart also whine

Its out of my control

with a lost interest in life

I m on my own

loosing my way, where to go

everywhere I hear is a big NO

no more friends only sorrows

Its tough being so hollow

hollow from inside

inside i m dying

outside i m crying

and for the world 

it doesn't matter any more 

on which side lane i m lying

walking like a wind on the road

I don't want to be a leaf

that got dead when it left its home

River flowing like a silent warrior

wind like a silent storm

the rain can also be a flood

the nature can also kill us all

I m just a man 

I m alone like above all 

Its a feeling that they also feel 

but I cant take it anymore

I can see they are helpless

and always burst like volcano

I ll go in their arms and they will accept me

and one day I ll be back somewhere to take you down

and you will be hopeless and I m damn sure

but till then I m all alone 

A wish

"A wish"

I don't need a smile of you that is not mine...
I don't need your concern that is not by heart...
I can't see anything in your eyes...A blank space of mine..

Its all about time I wanted from you, but you was running out of time...
you were not there when I needed you and I m the one who apologize...

I feel so alone....

with all the leftovers of you..
I cried like a rainfall of the pain..
missing you like hell
why I m the one who regrets...

Its all about the space you needed I gave it to you..
You want to be on your own, wants freedom I gave it to you...
I fight for you, expected something from you
but it all ended....

closing my eyes a tear of you rolled down my cheeks...
cold air surround me with a cool breeze...
you are a part of my life i ll never forget
its all the matter of time that you are not here...
but why this sacrifice for me , she should tell me ...

[pause]
now I m the one who is repenting.
and in the heaven she is resting....
now I know the love
I remember all the promise, I remember everything
I m aiming towards our dreams
I need you why you left me
I m missing you
I am all alone

I m all alone blaming myself...
I was not there when she needed me the most...
I m waiting for you, a wish that can never come true crying like hell...
but
I m still waiting n waiting n waiting for you to come and give me a hug...
A wish that can never turn true...