values: A comparison

" सड़क और राह "

सड़क ने कहा राह से, 

तू है कैसे मुझसे अलग,क्या है ऐसा तुझमे ,

 क्यूँ है तू सबकी पसंद और में एक निर्जीव की तरह रहती हूँ क्यूँ अलग,

हर कवी की पसंद तू, हर इंसान की मंजिल का रास्ता तू 

हर कोई लगत आस तेरी हर कोई में में क्यूँ नहीं 

यह भेदभाव कैसा है जो न होकर भी होता है मेरी रूह को झिंझोर कर रख देता है,

 आते है आंसू आँखों में रोज सुनकर लोगो की बातें

 सोचती रहती हूँ, कि क्या है मेरा दोष.......

राह ने कहा होती मंजिल तय सबकी आस्मां में

ना दे तो इसमें किसी को दोष

में हूँ रूप तेरा ही दूसरा

तू सच्चाई है में सपना एक अच्छा

राह बन जाती है हर वोह सड़क 

जब होती है उसमे ताकत जीतने की

में भी हूँ तेरा ही एक रूप, सड़क आम आदमी की राह मंजिल की 

न हो अब उदास तू 

नहीं हूँ में भी तुझसे अलग

दोष दिया है संसार ने भी मानकर मुझे गलत

हर वक़्त हर किसी का नहीं होता

इसी सड़क की तरह कभी टुटा फूटा 

कभी साफ़ सुथरा होता

सड़क में और राह में है एक बहुत बड़ा फरक

लोग का गुस्सा उतरता राह पर

पर प्यार मिलता है तुझे ए सड़क....

expectations

"expectations"

expectations

Right or wrong
its all the matter of facts and figures
awesome and blunder
its the nature of human
what we earn, what we loose
one thing i say please don't be cruel
A word to say, a word to listen
no ear is there, no person to hear
I m just waiting that someone should listen my prayer
I m the one that fall from sky every time I expect.
just want to buy some time
that is not mine
they say I m arrogant
I m the one who is responsible
the word may be not rhyming
but its not you who should be telling this
my feelings, my emotions
who are you to put up the questions
its all expectations
sometimes high and sometimes lower
someone is never their to answer your questions of emotions
empty handed you walk back coz you expected
this life is just a puzzle
more you solve it more you scrabble...
its just a matter of time the maturity comes into action
the feelings are kept away and compromise is the new fashion...

sadness & happiness

"sadness & happiness"


There were times when time left us alone, there were person somewhere related to us, we assume them as fake, we feel ourselves cheated and deceived (wonderful word of English, so many feelings in only one word), there were times when we cry, the impressions of time put such a great mark on our mind and heart that we feel everything dark and dim putting us to the edge of wall where one side has a great fall and other is the compromising world. The negatives are so high that we feel why we are alive, the thoughts of sorrows, despair and blurred thoughts of happiness making us believe in the facts quoted by our parents.


Now, this is the point where the bulb turns ON, though intelligent people have common sense and may have understood that what I m talking about, its my pleasure to tell you that nothing is much more important then the one who nourishes you, polishes you, helps you to bring out a woman or man out of a kid making your every wish as the command of God and who smile when you smile, cry when you cry and die when you die (not really but in feelings, spiritually they get weak and hard to find to live on their own but times teaches all, the biggest healer).


From a total drawn-out sudden attack of low, to a smiling face with tears in eyes. This note is not about parents  only but for everyone who loves you. Remember that Yashodha mayya is remembered as the mother of Shri Krishna but not Devaki ma...its a truth we cannot deny, and a divine love we cannot explain of Radha annd Krishna, Friendship of Krishna and Sudama I have taken the examples of our own mythology, the most common one to explain what I want to say in above para.


Thus the end result is:
The truth, the love, the smile is always with us somewhere inside our heart lying silently with deeply rooted memories of happiness, just we have to find it and share it.
& The real end is:
A most commonly said line "Love always grew if u share it and Sadness always decrease if you share it" and Sharing is the basic of happiness but share carefully. Terms and Conditions apply.


a short note may be inspiring, may be not but it may help you if you read it calm.

Pain- A metaphor

" Pain- A metaphor "

something is crawling on my mind

why my heart also whine

Its out of my control

with a lost interest in life

I m on my own

loosing my way, where to go

everywhere I hear is a big NO

no more friends only sorrows

Its tough being so hollow

hollow from inside

inside i m dying

outside i m crying

and for the world 

it doesn't matter any more 

on which side lane i m lying

walking like a wind on the road

I don't want to be a leaf

that got dead when it left its home

River flowing like a silent warrior

wind like a silent storm

the rain can also be a flood

the nature can also kill us all

I m just a man 

I m alone like above all 

Its a feeling that they also feel 

but I cant take it anymore

I can see they are helpless

and always burst like volcano

I ll go in their arms and they will accept me

and one day I ll be back somewhere to take you down

and you will be hopeless and I m damn sure

but till then I m all alone 

AKASH

"An uncommon story of a boy."

When a well grown up Kid enter your house saying "Merry Christmas Aunty ji"  there is a smile that went up on our face. His name is Akash, an ordinary boy, average looks wheatish colour, average height with cake in his hand and on the black pulsar with his friend. My mumma says " beta andar to aaja bahar se hi jayega " with a usual replies of guys he says " nai aunty have to go, jaana hai jaldi mei hun ghar pe guest hai wait kar rhe hai".

With full of attitude starts his bike and went vrooooming on the bike, as a kid pulsar really fascinates me but then I look up to my bicycle with a helpless smile.

He is a good guy with not so good friends, least interested in studies and more on fun, he started investing on shares from the age of 17 or may be 18 when he was in 12th standard by stealing money from his parents purse, see most of the kids steal for a cigarette or alcohol but he steals for his own good, to support his family,  note the difference. 

He has one brother and one sister, the younger kid and the most loved one (may be). The story began when a girl broke up with him and humiliate him, he went all around the city but she went to Delhi. A usual story, but a 3 yrs relationship is worth hurting, the reason for his break up even I don't know but once I saw the girl in the delhi metro. I chased her and asked about it, but the reply is firm and cruel saying " Don't ask me,  ask his parents. his family". 

I got my reason and tell the same to akash bhai, he went silently, even I don't bother about it, but get to know about his past slowly slowly through years went on, the way they met in the empty streets of railway colony, the restaurants they visits the promises they had made.

The good, the bad everything some times by akash or by his friends or the girl and my commons friends all are telling the stories, but it effect akash a lot, he had become a more dull and depressed personality, business is ruined and he started living on alcohol.

One night I met him on the side lane after a long time, drunk and smoking, saying bhai "thank you" and fell on

 my foot ohh fuck!!! the first first word that came out of me. I immediately call my friends, take him to the nearby Hospital and he is referred to fortis, man I was out of my mind, the reports were saying that the liver is heavily damaged, then I realized that I should help him,.

After he is discharge from the hospital I help him to grow with it, check his records and send him to the "Art of living" A much improved Akash is welcomed after lots of yoga and medicine.

Two or three months later I met him and he said that " Bhai kam mast chal pada hai" I was happy to hear that and also tell my mumma about the same.

A week later I was going to my friends house and came to know that Akash is dead in an accident, man I was fell of my knees. Visited his place the scenario was totally shocking///

" Not a single guy was there to lift him up on the shoulders, alone in the dark the body is laying down on the cemented floor with white cover." The mulla ji was showing his face to everyone amazed why a Muslim is there instead of a pandit but then I heard a voice of a girl may be his sister fighting with her mother saying that his bro will be burned and the mom is saying that he should be buried. Again I was shocked

first I asked about the death,

the one or two person standing there says he is dropping his friend when a truck hits his car.

A car I replied, yes he owns a car that he bought recently and was dropping 

his friend home recently on his BIRTHDAY.

tears rolled down my cheeks and then I asked about what all this fight about, the guy is born to Hindu family but his mother runaway with his lover who is a Muslim. Court case is filed and the women win the possession of kids, his elder brother is on his way to the city.

came to know that his brother and sister has left mom and only he is living with her.

I got a call from that girl and shut off it saying don't worry stay happy, now you don't have anyone who will tease you and don't cry.

The rotory van came and take him for the cremation according to Hindus mythology.

Today is his B day and I still don't know whom do I blame for it.

faith

"A day that is changed ...."

It was a cool Sunday of winters, so I wake up late and enjoyed every warmth of my blanket till the last breath of me in my bed, gazed at the wall clock, saw my mobile.

After all the necessary works of the morning or I can say afternoon I remembered that today I have to take the bath not because It is sunday but because today I have to go for a bhandara, Its a Sai Baba bhandara so it becomes compulsory for me as it was organized by one of my aunty ji and also because of  my faith.

The way to Mandir is quite easy, but surprisingly that temple of SAI and SHIV is surrounded by the Muslims houses.

Its on corner and the temple has no Hindu's home around it for 200sq meters. Its very rare and uncommon and sometimes give you a proud feeling that I m an Indian.

What I see now is the empty temple or the expected crowd is much much less then I had expected, I can easily walk inside the temple, no one is bothered about the administration, very few are joining hands in front of Gods and Goddesses, once again I was amazed by seeing that ladies and kids had came up with "tiffins" and packed the whole food for their family, no one is sighted from the upper class even middle class also. there is a mess around the temple and the one thing I missed the most are beggars, unexpected.

This view is completely changed with the previous bhandara, the crowd, the enthusiasm all is missing somewhere in the ego of person to person. It was held almost 3 to 4 yrs back, then I also did the swam seva and some how administrated the event, serves food to the people and it is crowded with youth from 14 to 24 yrs age groups, Its a fun and faith, mixed feeling, or in Indian style "mast". 

Now I m 21 and the scene is changed  the elder guys are married and girls are hardly to found, the standard of living is increased but the faith is decreased in youth completely missing from the event. I don't know where are they going and what they want but a lighted church at Christmas is much more fascinating then serving to hunger.

A day is changed and so the definition of faith.

A wish

"A wish"

I don't need a smile of you that is not mine...
I don't need your concern that is not by heart...
I can't see anything in your eyes...A blank space of mine..

Its all about time I wanted from you, but you was running out of time...
you were not there when I needed you and I m the one who apologize...

I feel so alone....

with all the leftovers of you..
I cried like a rainfall of the pain..
missing you like hell
why I m the one who regrets...

Its all about the space you needed I gave it to you..
You want to be on your own, wants freedom I gave it to you...
I fight for you, expected something from you
but it all ended....

closing my eyes a tear of you rolled down my cheeks...
cold air surround me with a cool breeze...
you are a part of my life i ll never forget
its all the matter of time that you are not here...
but why this sacrifice for me , she should tell me ...

[pause]
now I m the one who is repenting.
and in the heaven she is resting....
now I know the love
I remember all the promise, I remember everything
I m aiming towards our dreams
I need you why you left me
I m missing you
I am all alone

I m all alone blaming myself...
I was not there when she needed me the most...
I m waiting for you, a wish that can never come true crying like hell...
but
I m still waiting n waiting n waiting for you to come and give me a hug...
A wish that can never turn true...

those were the best days of my life

"बीते न यह पल "

चला जायेगा सब

छोड़ जायेगा सब

तू निकलेगा इस मंजर से जब

रूठा है क्यूँ तू 

क्यूँ है नाराज तू

यह है आखिरी लम्हा

जीले इस पल को तू

 

फिर न होंगी यह बातें

न होंगी यह बरसातें

न आयेंगे यह दिन

न जागकर गुजरेगी रातें

यादों का  जहाँ रह जायेगा बस

जहाज अपना बह जायेगा जब

कारवां यह ख़तम हो जायेगा

अकेला तू रह जायेगा अब

एक दिन ऐसा आयेगा जब

कोई न होगा तब

किसके ऊपर हसेगा तू

रोयेगा किसके कंधो पर

न होगा कोई साथ

नो होगा कोई पास

दिल में होगी बस एक आस

भुजी सी आवाज़ अश्को के साथ

बह जायेगा इन यादों के लम्हों में

खो जायेगा तू बीतें पालो में

आ जाएगी हसी इन लबो पे

करके याद वोह हरकते

आ.... न बीतने दे इस पल को अब

क्यूंकि

चला जायेगा सब

छोड़ जायेगा सब

तू निकलेगा इस मंजर से जब

Another day of me

"Another day of me"   

I was just walking by side lane in the bright sunshine, something in my head, something in my heart.
I don't know what it is but sometimes its just so hard to figure it out. Its just a mixed feeling, a bundle of emotions. All by myself in the end, step up the stair watched my phone, no replies, sat on the chair taking a deep breath asked the man to cut my hair.
Watching DIL SE side by side and touched with climax, after shaving again i checked my phone....
I don't know whose reply i am waiting, but its something i felt deep in my heart. I dialed a number and it was busy.
Way back to my home enter the gate of my house, open the lappy and slept by its side watching my mobile again, after sometimes i felt that no one is there except my books, my pad and my pen...
I open them and a found a new world, a new light an old pal.
I m happy and sad also.
so much feelings shared with my notebook.
and a piece of my life is shared here, at the end of the day I m all by myself in this four wall, waiting n waiting n waiting..........................................  

Thank you
"Musafir"